Conservative Colloquium

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An Exhortation to a Homosexual on the Right Path

Posted by Tony Listi on January 24, 2010

Here is a message I received from someone anonymously:

i’m still gay, i’m still looking for an answer why. i totally completely believe in christ, that he rose from the dead. i am doing my very best to rely on Him alone. i do not have sex anymore, but i have thoughts. i want so bad to not have these thoughts. i want to go to heaven so bad. i like jesus, and i love jesus. i am having a tough time right now. i am absolutely 100% certain god can make me straight. but he has not yet. i suspect that making me perfect and sinless in this life is not god’s goal. the goal is to aim in that direction and go as far as i can, or rather for jesus and me to go as far as we can together, but there is a chasm that i cannot cross, only jesus can take me across it to perfect sinless heaven. on the outside, i probably look like the nicest kindest gentlest and most ‘christian’ person you will meet. i truly love people with all my heart and those who have hurt me i pray with all my heart for god to soften their hearts. sometimes i think i am only alive just to pray for people. i have loved people with all my being. i have loved christ with all my being. but i will admit not 100% of the time. and sometimes not 100% of my being. actually i probably never have done anything with 100% of my ability and 100% correct and 100% real. i hate these flaws, they are really embarrassing and shameful. i believe if i were 100% heterosexual i would still be a man whore and greedy and full of pride. but please pray for me. there is not one thing i can do to save myself, only christ can save me. i have prayed and i believe and i try and fail but i try to follow christ. i do not try to so i can get saved, i try to do so because god says i am saved already. but why am i still a homo? it’s very hard not to just be a hermit and move out into the desert and stay there without internet or electricity and just spend my days reading the bible and growing vegetables for my food. can i be both gay and saved? it will be such a relief when i am in heaven, and i pray i am going. sometimes i get really scared though, as if i were cursed before time began.

Please pray for this person. The following is my response to him:

Thank you for sharing your very personal experiences.

God can indeed remove the homosexual urges from your body, if it be His will. Continue to pray that He may. For Jesus is the Great Healer and nothing is impossible for God.

However, consider the possibility that He may never remove these urges from you in this life. That is quite likely considering the empirical evidence on homosexual rehabilitation. Sexual urges are very strong and very ingrained early on, it seems.

If this be the case, do not despair! Be not afraid, for Jesus is stronger! And He has revealed to us that the lot of the Christian in this world is to suffer, to carry his own cross and follow Him. Each Christian has their own cross (maybe many) to bear. Sometimes it is a struggle with a deadly vice: malice, lust, greed, envy, pride, sloth, and gluttony. And though we pray to have these crosses lifted from our backs, often God sees fit not to do so. Why? Because it is precisely through suffering that we learn in the deepest way to rely on Him, to love Him above all things, above even our own interests and deepest desires.

The Christian is not cursed; he is crossed! And it is through these crosses that we may be purified for holiness and draw closer to Him. Just as Jesus offers us salvation through His cross, our crosses can be a means to our own salvation. So rejoice in your predestined cross! Let us unite our crosses to His for the sake of His glory and the eternal destiny of our souls!

If these homosexual urges are indeed your life-long cross, then humbly accept it, saying, “Not my will but yours be done.” In this case, you are called to be a eunuch for the sake of the kingdom of God. No one is any less human or of any less dignity because he abstains from sexual behavior. Quite the opposite! It is a greater gift, a greater virtue, to proclaim the kingdom to come by transcending sexuality in this world.

Do not be ashamed or embarrassed over urges you do not consciously initiate! By Christ’s grace and strength, you are in control of your actions. You can overcome all desires and urges that do not conform to His will. Cling to Him in faith and He will not fail you. Your urges alone cannot damn you.

The only thing worthy of shame and guilt is deliberate mental indulgence in and actually acting upon homosexual urges. And God forbid, if you choose to fall from grace with these sins, you can and must sincerely confess, repent, and be reconciled to Our Lord Jesus again, whenever you sin. There is no forgiveness without this process for each sin. No sexual sin is unforgivable, and His endless mercy is always there for the truly repentant.

I myself have struggled and continue to struggle with lust and temptation, sometimes failing and needing reconciliation. It is hard to imagine a male who doesn’t. So I know what it feels like, if not in exactly the same way. You can become stronger with each struggle. You are not alone in your struggle. Innumerable fellow brothers and sisters in Christ in this world and the next are praying for you. Mary the Mother of God and the whole choirs of saints and angels, who have gone before us and remain in Jesus and He in them, will intercede on your behalf, if you but ask them in faith. Here and now in this world, while becoming a hermit is a possibility, I’d encourage you to surround yourself with chaste brothers and sisters by joining a community and a church that accepts you and your cross but not your sins and that will help you bear your cross in holy chastity.

I cannot help but think that the reward in heaven for a person like you, if you do persevere to the end during these perverted modern times, will be very great. My heartfelt prayers are with you. Let me know if I can ever be of any assistance to you. May God bless and strengthen you in your spiritual journey home to Him.

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16 Responses to “An Exhortation to a Homosexual on the Right Path”

  1. john r said

    please explain how anyone’s desire to bond with (adult)another out of mutual love, affection, devotion. trust, and respect for a shared committed life together comes against the 2nd commandment(love your neighbor….the summation of all new covenant law)

  2. foospro86 said

    Love cannot be divorced from the Good, the Moral. The Christian view of sexuality prohibits homosexual behavior both in Scripture and by early tradition. There is no love in homosexual behavior.

    Moreover, it is a fact that most homosexuals are not looking for a life-long, committed relationship. They “hook up” and have multiple sex partners.

  3. john r said

    that is your fact. you personnal witness to support that. how many gay couples do you personnally know. given the 50% divorce rate i could easily say that HETEROSEXUALS are tending towards having multiple pardners.

    what church have you visited that supports homosexuality and marries gays. is multiple pardners what that church advocates?

    • foospro86 said

      Sure, heterosexuals who engage in fornication/adultery are sinners as well. That doesn’t really help your argument. It just lumps practicing homosexuals in with other sexual sinners.

      I’m not getting off on your tangent about heretical churches. It doesn’t matter whether homosexual behavior occurs with one partner or multiple partners; it is a grave sin either way.

  4. john r said

    why is it you cannot answer my question?

  5. john r said

    homosexuals have defined this love by never lacking in any sector of society compared to heterosexuals. they are not less a brother, friend, teacher, counselor, pastor, soldier, adminstrator, neighbor, father, etc. how could their love in their bonding be any different except in your own mind?

  6. john r said

    to all

    you say it is a grave sin but you cannot answer my question about the second commandment (love your neighbor…) if homosexuality does not come against the summation of the laws of the new covenant, then it does not come against the new covenant.

  7. john r said

    where is mike in this discussion?

  8. john r said

    you believe we have a relationship top god thru regulation as in deut 28………rather than DIRECTLY(torn curtain)to the the spirit of the one who lives in each believer who has been given all judgement and all authority……..christ.

    fulfillment of law is love.

    anything without love is nothing and gains nothing…………..including obeying the law

    isaiah1:11 “The multitude of your sacrifices—
    what are they to me?” says the LORD.
    “I have more than enough of burnt offerings,
    of rams and the fat of fattened animals;
    I have no pleasure
    in the blood of bulls and lambs and goats.

    12 When you come to appear before me,
    who has asked this of you,
    this trampling of my courts?

    13 Stop bringing meaningless offerings!
    Your incense is detestable to me.
    New Moons, Sabbaths and convocations—
    I cannot bear your evil assemblies.

    14 Your New Moon festivals and your appointed feasts
    my soul hates.
    They have become a burden to me;
    I am weary of bearing them.

    15 When you spread out your hands in prayer,
    I will hide my eyes from you;
    even if you offer many prayers,
    I will not listen.
    Your hands are full of blood;

    love one another as i have loved you.

  9. john r said

    if it is your understanding that 2 gays cannot love each other in the fruit of the spirit………love, joy, peace, kindness , goodness, patience, gentleness, self-control, and faithfulness because you are led by your understanding of the law……then you are led by what will give you no righteousness. rather than being led by the spirit of the one who lives in you. then your witness would be of what you witnessed of the spirit……of the fruit of the spirit, and that would dictate your understanding of the law.

    the spirit created the law rather than vice versa.

  10. john r said

    according to romans the law under the new covenant is to make us conscious of NOT loving our neighbor as ourselves, rather than as a tool to be used to invalidate the love of others.

  11. Victoria said

    John R, I can see that you’re upset and I understand that but you cannot pick and choose what you want to hear God say. You must listen to everything he says. The Bible says that homosexuality is not right. It never will be. Not because he’s trying to be mean or unfair but because he loves us. He hates the sin not the sinner.

    Also, FoosPro86, I enjoy reading your articles. Being 16 it’s hard living as a Christian. Not many young people today believe in God or follow his word. It’s sad because if they just gave their life unto him they would really grow and prosper. I will find time to pray for this brother. 🙂

  12. Jared said

    I know you mean well, but Mary is not praying for homosexuals that are struggling. That is purely a Catholic dogma and certainly not a Biblical teaching!

    Thanks!

    • Tony Listi said

      She absolutely is. What exactly do you think the saints, those who are in communion with Christ, are doing in heaven? Twiddling their thumbs?

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